Relationships with a solid foundation

According to the wedding website The Knot, about 15 percent of married couples met while in college, thanks to the presence of a large pool of new people of similar ages and (at least some) shared interests.

While the phenomenon cuts across academic departments (see our previous stories from 2024, 2023, and 2022), in recent years Professor of Civil and Urban Engineering Jose Ulerio and Department Chair Magued Iskander have noticed a particular spate of matches among CUE students. Could helping someone plan a highway be a highway to their heart? Will poring over a blueprint together inspire a couple to draw a blueprint for a mutual future?

We caught up with a few couples to find out.

Debbie Kendall Plavinskas (‘13) and Vilius Plavinskas (‘12)

When did you first catch each other’s eye?

Debbie: I was a transfer student, and I was required to take the General Engineering course all first-year students take. One day I was discussing AutoCAD with somebody because I had previously worked in a design firm and knew it well. He was working as a teaching assistant, and decided to butt in, I guess to try to impress us with his knowledge. I ended up correcting him though.  

Vilius: That was embarrassing, but we got past it quickly.

Do you remember your first date?

Vilius: We built a friendship initially, so we hung out a lot, and our relationship developed from there. The first time it occurred to our big friends’ group that we were actually dating was during a ski trip. We had won lift tickets from a radio station, and we borrowed a truck and went on a road trip to pick them up.

Debbie: On the way home, we got caught in a snowstorm so major that firemen were handing out blankets to everyone stranded on the road. We considered that our first date, and it was certainly memorable.

How did you decide to get married and what was your wedding like?

Debbie: It was a natural next step for us after graduating. We were getting established in our careers and didn’t want to spend a lot on a big party though, so we basically eloped. That was in February 2013. It seems like the years have flown by; I really can’t believe 2025 marks our 12th anniversary.

Vilius: We decided to make up for not having a big wedding after our first daughter, Gabija, was born. The way some couples have a destination wedding, she had a destination baptism. We held it in Lithuania, where I’m from, and people came from all over the world to be with us.

Have you kept in touch with people from your college days?

Vilius: Yes! Several were even at the baptism, and one of our Poly friends and fellow civil engineering graduates is Gabija’s godfather.

We plan to always stay in touch because we have such fond memories of Tandon (although it was still known as Poly then, and we will always call it Poly in our hearts).

Debbie: Vilius had come from Lithuania, and I’m from Trinidad and Tobago, but everyone at the school always made us feel welcome. Professor Roula Maloof and Jose Uleria guided us in our educational lives, just as our parents did in our personal lives. We also considered Professor Romualdas Sviedrys and the late Professor Ronald Pennella important role models and mentors. Professor Pennella, in particular, played an important role in our careers when we started at Structure Tone. He became our co-worker, but we still referred to him as “professor,” and he will always be missed

What’s been happening since graduation?

Vilius: As Debbie mentioned, at one time, we both worked at the construction company Structure Tone, and our career paths have now taken us to London, where we work for Overbury PLC — me as a project manager, and Debbie as senior design manager with a specialty focus in Sustainability, Wellbeing, and DEI.

Debbie: Gabija, who made us mama and tėtė, wants to be a scientist, and our second daughter, Ieva, who starts her school journey this year, is playing with the astronaut idea at the moment. They’re very clever and sassy, as they should be!

On a personal level, I’ve had some health scares: in 2023, a brain aneurysm I never knew I had ruptured. Thank goodness Vilius was home and understood the gravity of what was happening. The emergency surgeon fixed it in time, but last year medical imaging revealed that I had a second brain aneurysm, so that had to be repaired too. It’s been a challenge, but Vilius and our girls have been at my side through it all, and I have had huge support from everyone: our company, medical team, friends, and family.

We didn't let it stop us from enjoying our life together. The four of us love seeing the world and tasting all kinds of foods, for example. We want the girls to not only understand the culture of where we are from, but also the English culture they were born into and the American culture that played a huge part in who we are.

Vilius and I have had a motto from the beginning of our relationship: “Making our own rules.” The main purpose is to remind ourselves to embrace our different way of thinking and to be okay with being different and not fitting into any norm. We tackle any challenges that come our way with that in mind.

Anthony Kmiotek ('15, '16) and Julia J. Langewis (‘17, ’18)

When did you first notice each other?

Julia: During my dual degree program, I was traveling between classes at NYU’s College of Arts and Science and Tandon. Although we were on somewhat different tracks, we had some electives together. I was always running from the subway and late to class, so I tended to sit in the back, and I noticed that this guy in the front kept turning around to glance at me.

Anthony: I’m really shy but I couldn’t help myself. She is very cute!

Do you remember your first date?

Anthony: She was living in one of the dorms around Washington Square, so I went over there. This was a time when Game of Thrones was popular, so we got take-out and watched that.

Julia: Some of our dates involved doing homework; since he started his master’s program ahead of me, he was able to advise and help me.

How did you decide to get married and what was your wedding like?

Julia: After I graduated and my lease was up, we decided to buy a house together.

Anthony: Once you have a 30-year mortgage there’s really no going back.

Julia: We actually had two weddings. The first, in 2021, was just us and our parents because the COVID pandemic was in full swing. Once restrictions had been lifted the following year, we had a real celebration. It’s like we have two anniversaries!

What’s been happening since graduation?

Anthony: We both earned professional engineer (PE) licenses, and career-wise, things are going well. Julia is a geotechnical project engineer at Langan Engineering & Environmental Services, where she interned as a student, and I’m with the Forensic Engineering Unit at the Department of Buildings. We respond in the case of incidents like fires and collapses, so that can be exciting work.

Julia: Things are also exciting at home. We have a toddler, Alexander, who was born in January 2023, and an infant, Lilah, born in October 2024.  

Do you stay in touch with anyone from Tandon?

Julia: Of course! We both participated in the Concrete Canoe and Steel Bridge competitions as students, and last year we attended Concrete Canoe and got to meet up with Professor Ulerio and Professor Weihua Jin. That was a lot of fun.

Anthony: They even got to meet Alexander. Maybe when Lilah is older we’d take her as well. We’d be very happy if both kids studied hard and ended up at Tandon.

Schillivia (Laland) Baptiste (‘03, ‘09) and Robert Baptiste (‘04, ‘08)

When did you first notice each other?

Schillivia: We both took a C++ class as first-year students, and I think I noticed him then. Because we came in at the same time and had the same major, we ended up in a lot of the same classes. Throughout that time I never really considered him as a potential romantic interest though.

Robert: For years, we were simply classmates who worked well together and participated in some of the same activities like the Concrete Canoe competition. Romance didn’t enter into it until after we graduated.

 Do you remember your first date?

Robert: In around 2004 I finally admitted to myself that there was a spark there I should explore, so when her birthday came around, I asked her out to celebrate.

Schillivia: I certainly never expected to meet a husband while attending college. That was the furthest thing from my mind, but when he asked me out, I decided to accept.

Robert: I actually think she was stalking me, hoping I’d ask her out. (Make a note that I’m just kidding!)

How did you decide to get married and what was your wedding like?

Schillivia: The first part of that question is a hard one to answer. Our relationship grew over time, and it was such a natural decision. One day, we were taking a walk in Red Bank, New Jersey, where he lived, and we stopped to sit on a bench, and that's when he proposed.

Robert: Our wedding was in 2010, and it was great! I’m an avid golfer, so we got married at a golf club, and we had golf-themed favors and placecards. Later, I bought her clubs and taught her to golf, so that’s something fun we do together. There’s no rivalry though. I’ve had many more years experience playing than she does, and I love helping her. We’re a team!

What’s been happening since graduation?

Schillivia: We were actually business partners before we were life partners. We launched Laland Baptiste, a construction management company, in 2008, and it’s been growing ever since. We have offices in Brooklyn, Buffalo, Latham, Garden City, and Rochester at this point. I’m CEO, and Robert is COO. We provide services to clients across all sectors, including education, recreation, culture, and healthcare, and we’ve expanded from just construction management into owner representation, disaster recovery, conceptual planning, pre-construction consulting and more.  

Robert: On a personal level, we have two sons, ages 9 and 11. They’re showing an early interest in STEM, so we might be facing some more Tandon tuition down the line.

Do you stay in touch with anyone from Tandon?

Schillivia: We have a lot of friends from our college years, and we often attend each other’s kids’ parties and family events. And of course, like everyone nowadays, we keep up via social media.

Robert: We’re also in touch with Professor Larry Chiarelli, who runs the ACE Mentor Program at Tandon. The aim is to introduce high school students to careers in Architecture, Construction, and Engineering by engaging them in projects and, as the name states, mentoring them. Right now, we have a group of about 20 students meeting regularly in our office. This cohort has chosen to work on a hypothetical housing project in Coney Island, focusing on flood mitigation. They're learning a lot, and we’re happy to participate. We recently launched a foundation that will be engaged in carrying on our mentoring work, so that’s something else we’re doing as partners.